I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
