proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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