who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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