Pappa wants mamma naked
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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