At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
