The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
