I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
