Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
