we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
