my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize