How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
