I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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