If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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