So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just pee around me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
