He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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