He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
