ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
