I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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