After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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