The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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