I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
