Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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