Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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