best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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