I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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