I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
this is an emotional support booty call