In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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