Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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  (201): remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal. http://tfl.nu/yu6k
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (512)
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (681) Bad night (4115)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.

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  (817): My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday. http://tfl.nu/n9me
  Replies (20) Good night (956) Bad night (2758)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u sound so gay right now

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  (617): I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me. (978): u sound so gay right now http://tfl.nu/zm49
  Replies (35) Good night (6967) Bad night (1146)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.

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  (610): Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/94uz
  Replies (39) Good night (6019) Bad night (2878)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city

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  (407): I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city http://tfl.nu/5mtu
  Replies (32) Good night (6076) Bad night (947)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.

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  (703): The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night. (703): The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie. http://tfl.nu/hgcg
  Replies (27) Good night (1084) Bad night (2641)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.

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  (516): Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase. http://tfl.nu/afiw
  Replies (9) Good night (1575) Bad night (488)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.

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  (519): currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy. http://tfl.nu/g3do
  Replies (4) Good night (572) Bad night (1005)
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  (646): View more from New York

  People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.

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  (646): People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home. http://tfl.nu/e0ck
  Replies (8) Good night (1249) Bad night (402)
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  (247): View more from

  That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.

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  (247): That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes. http://tfl.nu/fpdo
  Replies (6) Good night (1358) Bad night (373)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.

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  (617): Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea. http://tfl.nu/cuto
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (546)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"

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  (814): Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!" http://tfl.nu/rgls
  Replies (7) Good night (284) Bad night (360)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales

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  (978): Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales http://tfl.nu/1ec5
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.

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  (608): I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style. http://tfl.nu/y30w
  Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (157)

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