think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
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How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.