Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.