btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
