The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
