he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
