i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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