I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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