you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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