im drinking this country out of the recession.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize