So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
