hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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