so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
