We're facebook friends in real life
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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