I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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