Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize