he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
