batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize