Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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