i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Actions speak louder than pants.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
