i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
