when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
