No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
