i barfeds in our rink
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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