I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize