I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
