And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
