ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
