I love black thongs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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