I wanna passion pit in your ass
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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